omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
