brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
