he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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