Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We're facebook friends in real life
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
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Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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