I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
