he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
