I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
