No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
