We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
