If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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