i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
