During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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