VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Randomize
