...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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