You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
