I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
