I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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