i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
