the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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