My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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