This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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