we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
