So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize