id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I deserve this hangover.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
