You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
