dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
