My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
