....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
