and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Still dying that you shit outside
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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