from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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