I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
