yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think im going to throw up on grandma
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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