they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
