dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Its about making memories worth repressing
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
