ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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