Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
