does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
