I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
