Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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