I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
