32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
