Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
