somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
