I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
