It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
