we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
