and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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