He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
