So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
tonight lets celebrate not being married
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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