She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
