absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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